5. Finding a sitter isn't easy.
When I want to say yes (and have the cash flow to do so), it's not always that easy. I don't trust just anyone to watch my kids (and no, I'm not using that random online service you sent me), so finding a sitter is a challenge in and of itself. It's even harder when I don't have a lot of notice. It's not an excuse, it's my reality.
6. I need notice, lots of it.
I'm thankful you still invite me to things, I really am! But the less notice I have, the less likely I'll be able to join. It doesn't mean I don't want you inviting me—I do, I promise—I just may have to say no. I'd love for you to understand when I say I can't, because it's nothing against you. Please keep inviting me, even if I say no nine times out of 10.
7. I like spontaneity.
I know I said I need notice, but asking me to do something out of the blue might be just what I need. Once in a while I will say yes, and I will be forever grateful for your understanding when it comes to seeming like a fickle friend. I'm not fickle, it's just parenthood.
8. Please don't judge.
It seemed like the moment I became a parent, the floodgates opened to constant judgement. I'm judged by family members, strangers, friends, and yes, even you at times. I know you will judge, everyone on some level does, but please remember you aren't living my life, I am. I promise I won't judge the way you spend your money, who you date (although come on, that last guy was a real deadbeat—you can do better), what you do with your free time, or how you generally live your life—please offer me the same respect.
9. I complain, but that doesn't mean I don't love it.
I'm tired. First it was the exhaustion that came with being pregnant, then the sleepless nights with a newborn, but these days it is the exhaustion that comes with keeping my marriage strong and raising children who will hopefully grow up to be productive members of society. I'm literally doing the best I can, but there will be times that I complain so much, you will suggest that maybe I need to get a divorce or hire a full-time nanny. I don't want to do either, I just need you to listen to me vent. For the most part I love my life, but that doesn't mean I don't need someone I can trust enough to talk about how hard it is to be a parent.
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