But if you’re one of the many people who think twins are simply “double trouble” or that “we’ve sure got our hands full,” well, you’d be incorrect. Coming from someone who knows firsthand, here’s a bit more about what it’s really like to be parents of twins.
You'll hear it all, everywhere you go.
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As in, all the twin jokes: the double this and double that and oh so many questions, from "Are they twins?!" to my favorite example of when a complete stranger asked whether boy and girl twins are identical. Insert eye roll emoji. So we just let it roll off our backs because as many times as we've heard all those questions, we've also come up with our own, slightly obnoxious responses. My husband, for example, likes to shake his head and respond that he and our identical twin girls are triplets.
You'd better have your story straight.
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If you think average parents (twin parents call them "singletons") have cute stories about how, when and where they found out they were pregnant, that's nothing compared to a story like, "We thought we were having just one baby, went in to the doc to hear the heartbeat and, surprise, there were two in there!" Ours just happened to occur on April Fool's Day, for bonus crazy story points.
Every day is Laundry Day.
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And Buy More Milk Day and Add Diapers to Subscribe and Save Day. Twice-daily dishwasher runs and a constant laundry cycle were just a fact of life for a while when our twins were babies. After all, double the baby means double the leaks, spills, spit-ups and blowouts—oh, and joy! That reminds me, I need more laundry detergent.
The schedule is KING.
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While I was pregnant, an absolute angel genius gave me some advice for the hospital stay. He told me I could give the nurses our schedule so they know when to come check on things and when to leave us alone during sleeping and feeding. That's because The Schedule starts from day one. The self-led feeding thing that mothers of singletons do where they casually feed the baby whenever he's hungry just doesn't work when there are two. They've simply got to sleep and eat at the same time for you to survive.
In the beginning, there are no breaks.
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When there's just one baby, one parent can hand the child to the other when he or she needs a break and vice versa. With twins, there is another baby already in that other parent's arms, so breaks are not a thing. Both parents have to be awake for all the feedings, most of the diaperings and, well, you get the idea. It's rough.
There are many lines of questioning.
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Modern medicine is amazing! Couples who've struggled to become pregnant are now able to have miracle babies thanks to expensive, often invasive, financially and physically draining medical procedures, I don't mind talking about our story (in fact, I feel a bit guilty over how ridiculously easy it was for us to create ours), but not everyone wants to hash it up all the time.
Precisely how the parents of twins became pregnant with said twins is not anybody else's business, and yet, so many people ask sensitive questions related to natural versus assisted pregnancies that you'd be shocked. My favorite way to answer these types of inquiries is to simply declare that my children are indeed, robots.
Every little thing you do is magic.
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Meaning, everyone you meet is impressed by the fact that you survived having two little babies at once. And to be quite honest, you deserve the awe. It's certainly the hardest thing I've ever done.
Singleton parents just don't understand.
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Perhaps the reason for all that awe is that after taking care of just one baby for a few weeks, most parents will shudder at the mere thought of doubling that little bundle of joy. You'll often hear, "How on earth did you do this with two?!" from your new-parent friends, and when you do, give yourself a little pat on the back as you try not to get a superiority complex.
It's honestly the best thing ever.
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There's a tipping point to parenting twins, when the insanity and sleeplessness and double everything starts to pay off with major dividends. When your twins leave you alone and start playing with each other, that's when you start to realize it. At a certain point, there's just one schedule to deal with, and things actually get easier for you than for the parents of two singleton kids. Plus, there are two of them, and they're so darn CUTE.
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